I’m not going to go into the entire Hillsong United experience, because it was just too much for words! I will just touch on the song that moved me the most, which was the Desert Song. Over the past few weeks, the thought rolling around in my head (it sounded very much like a marble on tile floor) has been “no weapon formed against you shall prosper”. I have been praying earnestly asking for God’s help with different life situations (maybe not so different than yours… my situations are not extra special), and asking for God’s wisdom, and the thought that keeps persisting is “no weapon formed against you shall prosper”. I took this to mean (based on the questions I was asking) what is for me, is for me. Nothing will stand in the way. If I love God, and want to do his will, and turn my heart towards him(or HER) : ), then everything laid out in God’s plan for my life, even before I was born or my parents were born, as the universe was created, will come to pass. I am confident in this. It has brought me a LOT of peace the past few weeks and no more stress about “what do I need to do to make this work out”. No. I feel like God has spoken to me through the holy spirit and told me not to worry. That no weapon formed against me shall prosper. It’s SO deep!! Knowing that nothing will stand in the way of God’s plan for me and my life has been amazingly comforting! So, last week, during the Flamingo Film Festival, during services, the girls sang Hillsong’s Desert Song. It was such a pretty song, and the lyrics went right along with how I was feeling (Funny how that ALWAYS happens, right?). This weekend, they played it again at the concert, and it was, by far, my favorite.

The song and lyrics are below… Enjoy : )

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

With the way the internet is these days, anyone can see anything about you. Yes, there will be times where there are things out there that you can’t control. Someone takes a photo of you that you didn’t know about, or someone mentions you without your knowledge or consent. But the vast majority of our online presence, we can control.

I try to live my online life in such a way that if some prospective photography client, possible boss, friend, potential husband, future children were to stumble across them, there wouldn’t be anything there to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I try to live life that way too. Sure, I’ve made mistakes in my past, and done things I wasn’t 100% proud to discuss, however, I feel I’ve learned from all that, and been transformed, not just in my heart, but physically as well, the way I dress, speak, and carry myself.

Just a word of warning to be careful what you post out there on the internet about yourself, because someone Googling your name is the exact same thing as someone asking everyone that knows you for details about who you are, your past and what you stand for.

I work in a very small department, where there are 2 older women and 2 younger (one being me). We have a manager, then above him, two attorneys, one who is an associate and the other who is the VP. Lately, the two older ladies have been giving me a hard time, watching what I’m doing, who I’m talking to, for how long etc… and telling my manager every little thing, even though I don’t treat them that way. It bothers me that they’re basically just gossiping. I understand that this is sometimes what happens as we get older, and realize that it’s not me personally (they’re like this with everyone who has been in this position).

I don’t see myself as a victim, because I can admit, though I’m working hard 95% of the day, I do occasionally take breaks to check the news, catch up on an email, or stuff like that. Hey, I’m human.. not perfect : ). I don’t know what they do, because I don’t worry about every little detail of their day… So, I have been praying for guidance on what to do about this situation. Do I also start to keep track of what they do so when my manager says something to me, I have something to say to defend myself? Do I just ignore it? Do I bring it up and say something? Do I stop talking to everyone? Do I quit my job (which is tempting)?

I didn’t do any of the above. So far, I have just gone about my day, hoping that if I continue to just be myself, and nice to them, and loving, they’ll realize, “man, I’ve done all this mean stuff, and this person is STILL nice to me”  and it will show them what kind of person I am and what kind of heart I have. I want God’s love to shine through me. I’m glad we’re studying Romans 12, because this verse is perfectly fitting for what I’m going through right now:

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”*
says the LORD.

Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”

The relationship we have with other people is literally a direct parallel to the relationship we have with God.

We say “God, I’ve done all these bad things, I’m a sinner, and yet, you STILL forgive me and bless me”. Its crazy humbling!!! And if God can forgive us, who are we to say “Oh no, I’m gonna hold a super-grudge- this person did me wrong!”. We’re nobody! If God can send his son to die for the forgiveness our sins, we can certainly find it in our hearts to forgive others.

So, anyway, I will continue to pray for my co-workers (and myself!), and hope that God works on their hearts, through me if possible .

I’m a notorious nail biter. So, for years (on and off of course- literally) I had acrylic nail tips on, and would go every two weeks-ish and get them done. The maintenance got exhausting (not to mention, expensive). So the other day, a friend made a comment that I should just let my “real” nails grow. I commented back, quickly, “I can’t. I chew my nails to pieces.” I felt all disappointed at the immediate “I can’t.” answer that came out of my mouth, so last night I decided, hey, maybe I CAN stop chewing my nails!

I promise, there’s a point.

So, I asked a nail tech friend of mine what I needed to do, and she wrote back (loosely quoting here) “soak a cotton ball in acetone, put it on your finger, and wrap the tips in aluminum foil individually. Let it sit about 30 minutes, remove, and scrape”. I dutifully followed directions, and about 10 minutes later, with fingertips looking like radioactive marshmallows, I quickly realized I was not going to be able to do a single thing for the next 30 minutes. I set the timer on my iphone, sat on my toilet, and stared at the wall.

As I was sitting there, I thought, maybe I’m supposed to be sitting here. Maybe this moment of silence, this quiet time, this moment of immobility is happening exactly the way its supposed to happen.

So, I did what I felt like I should be doing. I bowed my head and started praying.

It was strange, because I didn’t even think “What am I going to do? How can I entertain myself?” It just felt completely natural to pray.

I was reminded of our friend Troy, who commented on Monday night, that we are to pray without ceasing. I prayed about so many things, I can’t even remember anything I said. Some of it, I spoke out loud, other things, I feel like I just said in my head. I prayed for people, for things, for intangible things like wisdom and discernment and maturity.

I just thought it was so amazing that God puts us right where he wants us, in his exactly perfect timing, and last night, for a while, it was with my head bowed, giving thanks and asking for help.

:::: A friend quoted this poem to me in a journal that was a present for my 21st birthday. The poem has always struck a chord with me, and Dr. Seuss’s wisdom and simplicity is always beautiful. I am dedicating this to all of my friends who are entering a new season in their life. Whether its high school, college, marriage, children, or ministry, this poem talks about the possibilities out there for you. I love you all, and Oh, the places you’ll go!!::::

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Last night, one of my role models and favorite women all around gave an amazing and inspiring keynote speech about the “who’s” and “what’s” in life. I will be blogging later about all the festivities, but I wanted to share some quick photos of her during her speech.

F3 Keynote Speaker Intro Video from Flamingo Road Church on Vimeo.

I’ve been feeling bummed the past few days, and wondering what it was going to take to get me out of this funk. I don’t tend to worry about my “funks” too often because they don’t come around very much, and when they do, they usually don’t last too long, but I think its impossible to be 100% happy all the time and so these times don’t worry me. But I don’t like the feeling, so I’ve been praying, and reading, and praying more and asking for God’s wisdom and guidance, and spending quiet time, and then praying more.

Last night, on my way home, I asked the question I think we all have asked at one point or another: WHY?

Not in a “Why me?” sense at all (I’m not THAT special), but in a general “Why? Why do bad things happen? Why do we suffer? Why does God let us get sad? Why do we get sick?”  Immediately, what came to my head (which I’m sure was the Holy Spirit directing me back to God’s word) was Job 1:21-22:

Naked I came from my mother’s womb

And naked I shall return

The LORD has given,

And the LORD has taken away.

Praised be the name of the LORD!

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.

I know we all probably know the story of Job, and know that scripture well, but as I kept reading, I thought, “Man, THIS is suffering! Not the tiny stuff I’m going through!” I feel like I was drawn to the book of Job last night so I could be reminded what true suffering was, and Job was blameless! He was a righteous man in the eyes of God, and yet, he was tested.

What we go through is sometimes so small compared to the omnipotence (One having unlimited power or authority) and omniscience (infinite knowledge, One having total knowledge) of God.

I cannot even pretend to try to understand God’s reasons, I’m  just a mere human..

Then, in the end, I’m reminded of Jesus’s teaching from the sermon on the mount:

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

Matthew 6:26-27

So, all of a sudden, that “funk” doesn’t seem so bad, right?

FREE show this Thursday Nite @ 8pm – featuring THE GILLS and MOUVEMENT. Starbucks – 10690 NW 19th St, Doral

So, there has to be a rational explanation for this right? I wish I could say there was

Really, it was a result of a bunch of 20-somethings with ADD in a hospital room willing to do anything to make Heather laugh : ) I think it worked!!